omgoshh.. its been a long time since i last blogg.. hahaha niwae this few days past.. ive been slping over at my cousin house.. hahaa goshh we watch korean drama after one drama to another one drama.. hahaa so long.. hahaha niwae i dntknow why.. but i just realize that i do blogging only when i feel upset.. when im in the happy mood.. no. haha kla thats all tata!!heee

xoxo, 3:11 PM

hello peeps!! hehe this was on the 19-21 hehe.. i tell you this chalet hangout were fucking fun!! haa.. i had a lot of laugh over there.. hehe first night was quite boring cuz everybody got nothg to do.. opps except the guys.. they got some games to play..like gambling or sth.. i hate it.. lucky my sweet bf didnt join them just watch them played.. hahaha i love you bby... on that first night. everyone cnt slp.. me too.. we got separated rooms which was for guys and girls.. haha so the all the girls were inside the room chatting and all that including me.. hehe then afew hrs ltr something happen.. my friend had a probs with her bf and her bf trying to talk to her in the girls room so we just went out and find our bf and slp beside them.. hahahaha but i cnt slp.. till like arnd 6 plus then i slp.. hahaa on the 2nd day.. its fun!! we take laughing gas.. gosh its my first time taking.. and i feel like alil bit dizzy.. i just take twice.. thats it i cnt take it anymore.. im afraid something bad happen.. hahaha i laugh once.. and the 2nd time i didnt laugh.. infact i feel alil bit dizzy like everything turn to slow motion.. i dntknw whats happening to me.. hahaa luckily ntg happen.. after that i didnt take anymore.. haha but my bf still did.. stupid.. i saw him laughed and is like not himself.. i ask him not to take it anymore.. cuz i starts to feel worried.. ..this things aint good at all.. haha its like ure drinking beer or sth.. hahaa. there's alot things happen over there.. but too lazy to type it all down here.. hehehee jgn marahh.. niwae thats about it.. tata ps i love you faizzz!! hehehee saranghaeyo!!:)

xoxo, 8:16 PM

hey hey!! yo watssup! hehe ok cut the crap.. well today not much going on in my life.. i woke up late arnd 1plus cause i received a text msg frm my pretty cousin that is yanny..hee she text to ask if ive already call the the office.. oh ya we seeking for a job so i found this vacancy job in the newspaper they advertise it in there so i took down the num and planning to call the next day. so i did that is today.. well things go smooth and i have to come for the interview which was tmrw and im a lil bit nervous.. haha please pray for me and my cuz so we'll get hired.. please.. hehe anyway.. just now in the afternoon arnd 4pm i met my bf went jb well i accompany him.. and yknw what.. its raining heavily and we were soaking wet while otw there.. gosh im so cold i cnt even feel my own hand feel abit numb..haha poor my bf also enduring the coldness.. hahaha reached jb buy some cigg and a drink and pump fuel and off back to spore.. hahaa cause he gotta rush back home.. he sent me home, i bath all that wash my clothes and play cmp.. arnd 9pm i started to feel slpy so i switch off whatever and off to bed.. while lying down i texting my bf till i fall asleep.. i didnt even reply his msg. haha and about 40mins i think i wokeup to my bf msg.. i was shocked and now i cn seems to put myself to sleep.. thnks alot bby!! hahaha anyway nvrmnd.. so now i got nothing to do and i blogg.. hahaha kk im done bby i wanna tell you something!! I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCHIE!! SARANGHAE!! WO AI NI!! AKU CINTA PADAMU!! LASTLY muahahhahahahahahhahah muahahahhaahahaha

xoxo, 1:07 AM

hmm back again for blogging.. well today not much happen.. just slacking, watching tv play computer surf here and that. today im so bored till i cried. i dont know why. i dont know what the hell am i thinking till i can cry. stupid. hmm my bf went ice skating with his ex sec sch classmate.. i wanted to follow but i dont wanna be kpo2!! beside my bf dnt even wanna ask me if i wanna tagg along. so its ok i get the story.. nvrmind. so i sat at home and do my things. i kept on twittering all day saying im bored. haizz no life.. tmrw is my 2nd day of training, and i dnt even feel excited about it. i hate f n b line. i wanna work in admin place. like office hour. its easy.. hmm.. even though i've already got a job and still feel sad. i suppose to be happy cause at least im not jobless.. but no! instead of happy im sad. cause i dnt have a friend over there. i dnt knw much about the ppl there. last time i used to work in pizzahut.. over there i feel like working at home. haha i feel happy cause im working with my cousin, friends and so and so. the manager is fun!! i really miss alfred he really reminds me of my manager in delifrance..hmm good old times!! now working in the new place feels so awkward. hmmm.. i know i need times to get to know every staff at fish n co.. but still its not the same.. hmm see feel like crying again.. i hate this feeling.. nobody's cn make my frown face turn to smile.. :( ade bf pon die tk tahu ape2 tk tahu ape ku rase.. hmmm.. sedih.. but i still love him. :) :( dah la ku nk bareng.. makin ku blog makin ku rase sedih.. ..

xoxo, 7:28 PM

Standing by, All the way. Here to help you through your day. Holding you up, When you are weak, Helping you find what it is you seek. Catching your tears, When you cry. Pulling you through when the tide is high. Just being there, Through thick and thin, All just to say, you are my friend.

xoxo, 4:13 AM

When I'm with you, eternity is a step away, my love continues to grow, with each passing day. This treasure of love, I cherish within my soul, how much I love you... you'll never really know. You bring a joy to my heart, I've never felt before, with each touch of your hand, I love you more and more. Whenever we say goodbye, whenever we part, know I hold you dearly, deep inside my heart. So these seven words, I pray you hold true, "Forever And Always, I Will Love You." sincerely illyana

xoxo, 3:28 AM

Bby i love you so much. i never felt like this before with other guy. i know sometime you get irritate when im always depends on you. expect you to bright my day every single day. i know you cant please me everyday. i understand that. but i don't even know why am i like that to you. im not this kind usually i can make myself busy with friends or cousins and not always depending on boyfriend. i don't know why am i diff when im with you. maybe because i love you so much and i willing to sacrifice myself to be always beside you . i love the way you when you always make me smile.. the way you hugged me when i cry or upset with something or someone, the way when you kiss my forehead gently and sincerely without me asking you too..the way we always jokes around with each other.. the time we tells story about our past life together.. the moment how we felt when we get to know each other. and i love everything about us. you really change my life. now i know what is the meaning of love. when you love someone sometimes its hard for you to let them go. but we cant put them in a box and never give any freedom to them. we cnt be selfish. we should let things go smoothly.. and be happy.. and sometimes i would think that he could be the one. Sometimes,when we had our ups and down, we fought and i say things that arent suppose to say. but i just want you to know that i dont really mean it. i love you.. when im upset i like to do something that might hurt someone's feeling but all that is just an act. i act like i dont care anymore but the truth is, deep inside my heart i still care and i still love the way u show your loved. even though sometimes u really hurt me and make me shed a tears every night but i dont know why i still can forgive you and give a lil bit more time. i know my limits of patient and i know sometimes what we've gone through is all a test in our personal life..see if we are strong enough to handle this complicated life.. i know im strong enough to face all this even when i feel like im breaking apart.. If you had to leave me one day, that if we aren't meant to be together i'd still keep you in my heart and remember all the things that you've taught me to be. "be strong and always be confidence in my life. dnt take that inconfidence of yours hold you back from the things that you really wanted to do or become." i know when you give me some advise i would give a lot of reasons and say that i cant change. i know i shouldnt say that..i should give a try, i should take that advise. Just so u know whatever you advise me even when i give a lot of reason, i still keep that in my mind. i do really want to have better life too i want to be a success person. i want to change but i just need more time for that. and when i say more time i meant, really need more time.. I know i cant put hopes in our relationship because i wouldnt know if our relationship will last forever.. things might not go the right way that how we wanted and somehow ppl may change, either you or me. but for now i would enjoy our moment together and appreciate the love that you've given me.. thanks for giving me the chance to have your precious love to me.. i would treasure it deep in my heart. i'll will always love you... hugg!! Sincerely, illyana azhar.:)

xoxo, 4:08 PM

HMM again i blogg.. just wanna let out my feelings. lastnight. i've asked my boyfriend if i cn meet him today and went out for picnic or sth. but he said sorry got alot things to do at home. im okay at first.. but then today. he meet his friend and forget all about the thing he said or he should do. well it hurts me again. its not fair. i knw u dntwanna waste money going out. but its picnic.. like i say we dnt have to used any money. i'll cook sth and bring along for the picnic. but u dnt want. im okay at first.. but i cnt accept this.. u didnt do all ur work but yet meet ur friend. its not fair!! I dnt wanna be hurt everytime when im with u.. cant you treat me more sensitive? have a heart.. i hate this feeling.. really i cn giveup if i really want too.. hmm I KNW MY ENGLISH SUCKKs!! NO TIME FOR GOOD ENGLISH.. really angry..hmmph!! i want my bantal bucuk..:(

xoxo, 10:04 PM

I hate my sister alot!! i used to love her until now.. she became more like beast with no heart.. she's just cold hearted person. My mum hurts the way how she treat her. she ignored my mum when my mum told her to do sth. she thinks, she's a princess. if she eat? she would just put the dirty dish on the sink and left it there and somebody else would wash it for her!! wtf!! i observed every single time when she came home to eat. is just so sickening.. once i asked her to wash her own dirty dish.. she shouted 'cn u just wait? i'll do it later' do you think she's gonna do it? NO!! so i'll wait of course.. but later she went out and didn't wash the dishes. so fuck up attitude.. she even say this.. 'this is why i hate coming back home' too me? who asked u to come home anyway.. nobody's in this house cares about u.. u didn't even think how u have hurt ur own mum feelings and you expect us to understnd how u feel.. how selfish ure being!!' didn't even feel sorry for hurting someone feelings. why dnt you just move out from here and nvr come back.. u dnt treat us well enough and u want us to treat u well? get a life man.. we're here as a family should understnd each other and helps each other. but when u asked sth frm us we tried our best to help you. especially me, when the time i was working and i heard u dnt have a money to eat when ure break time. i'll sincerely transfer some money to u cause i love you. but when u get ur pay, i'll asked for some money to pay half for our internet bill you gave me shit in return.. u gave a lot of excuses just so u don't have to give any money.. and i tried to understnd that..i'll pay all the bill by myself without complaining. but when u treat me like this u say things that's not suppose to say.. well it hurts.. u dnt even try to realize your mistake and u put the blame all on us on ur own FAMILY. and u still call yourself DAUGHTER OF ROHANA JUMANI! u just a two face freak. u act all innocent, polite, softhearted person infront of everybody else but at home you're truly one coldhearted beast.. people just cant see that.. in your head family this and that who doens't love you and all that.. but the truth is whose family doens't love their own daughter or sister.? that's stupid!. but you just don't know how to appreciate it. instead of thanking us u give shit to us.. i cant believed i had a sister like you.. OH did i mention she's one year younger than me? i'm 19 this year and she's 18.. she's suppose to be more mature and cn think which one is good for her family.. all she can thinks is friends. friends is the only priority in her life not family.. but the funny thing is when she need helps? she find my mother and asked for help. Aren't u ashamed at all MISS ILLYASHA BINTE AZHAR!!.. you threw us away and when u need help. u find family. why dnt u asked your friends to helps u in whatever u need. OH WAIT THEY CANT HELP YOU.. CUZ THEY AREN'T UR FAMILY THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS, THEY CANT HELP YOU IN UR PERSONAL LIFE.. still u need family to helps you when u need something like u wanna go back to sch and nobody can help u to pay half of your sch fees if aren't for family.. family will always be there when it comes to ups and down.. even how far u try to get them away from you they're still in your blood. and they'll still come back to help you.. and u just cn see that.. friends? they come and go.. if you had a fight if friends and u trying to get them away from you.. u can! cause they wont be coming back to u.. but not family. we fight but we're still family and we'll still be there for u.. we don't asked people not to have friends of course u can. but you should know how to appreciate something and know how to give some time for your own family and friends. I know in this world everybody makes mistake but they would apologize for their own mistake. but u don't! you're just ego maniac that's thinks about your own feelings. urgh!! i hate it.. i feel so sorry for my mum.. she really hurt.. she always tells me how she feels when my sister treat her like a piece of furniture. i hate her for hurting my mom's feeling.. really? till when we should endure this beast attitude in our family? till when. when can she learnt her own mistake. and appreciate someone advise.

xoxo, 8:47 PM

hello!!!! back for more!! Today nothing much to do!! i just got home and see nobody's at home except me.. disappointed. nvrmind. last night, i dnt have the mood, i were disappointed with my bf..he turn me down just bcoz his friends doenst bring partner. i was upset.. though i knw he wanted to spent time with his friends i dnt mind if ive another plan.. he said he wanna bring me along but when he get the new that nobody's bringing any partner so he does too.. he said it'll be awkward. i'll say ok.. quite sad actually. honestly really2 sad. imagine ure excited about something and the person just blew u off.. i does it feel. crush right? hate it.. i went out last minit to meet my friend but then when i came down to wdlds she with a group of boys which i dnt even knw.. one of the guys quite cute+handsome!! hahaha he's not matrep at all.. and i like to look at his face..haha he dnt seems to like flirting around and i like that.. and when he spoke.. he spoke softly, gently.. and too me he's sensitive,polite, gentlemen alot of positive cmpliments about him i cn say..i like that kind of guy.. but then i remember i cnt stay there with them i promise my bf not to sit or go out with guy. so i mit my other friend fardianna.. we get to chit chat for a few hrs then i head home. i head straight to my cousin house in sembwg. so that i wouldnt be thinking about shit thing. gladly my cousins cheer me up by letting me wtch all the korean variety show.. hahah its hilarious. i laugh like hell.. hahaha thnks "rathine and yanna kecik"!! love you both!!xoxoxoxo

xoxo, 3:07 PM

this was anis's bdae!! which was yesterday hehe.. at first it was quite boring.. nobody.. my aunt's place were so quiet.. then came evening the crowd getting more and more and the fun starts.. hahaha niwae i got nothing to say.. soo im off.!! back for more tmrw!! hahaha

xoxo, 9:52 PM

this was last sunday..hahaa im too lazy to upload on that day after the wedding.. i were too exhausted, i woke up early morning like arnds 8am because my bf wanted to come over and take a little nap for awhile before heading to escort thingy.. so when he came over. i let him sleep in my room..and i sleep in my parents room.. hahaa but i couldnt slee.. my two lil bro and sis make alot of noises and i woke up to them!! i feel a lil bit tense but i cntrol it. i dntwanna scream and woke my hunny up.. so i just put my temper away.. i still get to slp but only for 30 mins i guess.. haha. my bf called me frm the other room told me to get dress as soon as possible because we're late it already 12pm. haha so i showered and get dress and out we go.. when we were on the road OMGOSH!! the weather was totally hot!! im sweating like pig behind. totally hot we meet the rest and escort to where the wedding is.. after the wdding we went to blue feather anni celebration. went home arnd 7 plus rest at my place for an hour cuz my bf had to go for study afterthat..i escort my bf downstairs and give a lil goodbye hugg and kiss and i head home and change, played the comp for a while arnd 9 pm im so tired and slpy. so i switch off my cmp and went to bed.. well i slp lke a pig!! i woke up the next morning.. goshh thats the first time i slept earlyy and it was great!! haha i feel so fresh the next morning.. hahaha end!!xoxoxo:)

xoxo, 1:44 PM