Where Does My Heart Beat Now..
So much to believe in, We were lost in time
Everything I needed I feel in your eyes, always thought of keeping your heart next to mine. But now that seems so far away don't know how love could leave without a trace, Where do silent hearts go?Where does my heart beat now,Where is the sound
That only echoes through the night where does my heart beat now i can't live without
without feeling it inside, where do all the lonely hearts go
Candle in the water .Drifting helplessly Hiding from the thunder Come and rescue me driven by hunger of the endless dream.
I'm searching for the hand that I can hold ,I'm reaching for the arms that let me know,Where do silent hearts go?Then one touch overcomes the silence, Love still survives, Two hearts needing one another give me wings to fly.
Where does my heart beat now where is the sound that only echoes through the night
Where does my heart beat now i can't live without, without feeling it inside
I've got someone to give my heart to
Feel it getting stronger and stronger
And stronger
And I feel inside
Hearts are made to last
Till the end of time
xoxo, 1:38 AM
god.. im losing myself right now.. i cant seems to stop crying..aku btol2 saket hati ya allah..how could u treat me like this? ko aleh2 nk mrh aku sebab aku bynk tanye.. aku tahu la aku ni lembab. bodoh tk paham!! tap aku pon ade perasaan.. dan ko nk mrh aku suke2.. ko ingat aku ni ape? yallah.. saket nye hati aku.. setiap kali kucoba utk bersabar dan ini yg ku dpt..sedih skali.. hati ni saket skali.. tk pernah ku ade kekasih yg suke mrh2 aku mcm ni.. aku binggung..kenape la aku harus lalui ni sume..
aku tk lame tk nangis sekuat ni..rase hati ku mcm btol2 hancur.. ya allah beri la ku kekuatan ya allah..
i think i need a rest..kepale ku dah saket ni.. haizz..
xoxo, 2:31 AM
Tell me is it worth the pain when our pride plays the wrong game.
blinded by suspicious mind, thought you could read my heart and cross the line.
in everything you see keep everything back me.
deep that bad taste in your mouth, half your truth stay on your side
unleash all your demons free they've been hiding
all that you're refused to see take everything back me
thought my broken heart,tear my dreams apart i'll be alright and i'll be alright..
just a broken heart, not a word to fight i'll be alright.. and i always will..
love
illyana
xoxo, 6:54 PM
Maybe its the things i say, maybe i should think b4 i speak,
but i thought that i knew enough, to know myself and do whats right for me.
And this walls im building now, u used to bring em down. the tears im crying out, you used to wipe away..
i thought you said it was easy, listening to your heart. i thought you said i'd be okay, so why am i breaking apart.Dont wanna be torn..
why is all this so confusing,complicated and consuming. why has all this made me angry i wanna go back to being happy!!...:(..
just need a time for myself. need to understnd..just give him the time...kk relax. i knw i cn understnd this..:(
xoxo, 2:39 PM
How you choose to express yourself, It's all your own and I can tell,
It comes naturally. You follow what you feel inside, It's intuitive you don't have to try , It comes naturally.
And it takes my breath away,
You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are And to me it's exciting,
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, When you're with me, baby!..
You have a way of moving me. A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does!)It comes naturally.
And it takes my breath away Everytime
What you do, so naturally.. <3
xoxo, 12:36 AM
im bored!! having a tummy ached rite now.. becoz of the girl prob thingy.. ahaha so pain.. haizz im here all home alone.. mummy go out my sister went to work.. and im here rotting at home.. so damn bored!! haizz i dnt knw why i've this wierd feeling like someone dnt love me anymore. haizz think too much..but its true i've the feeling of it.. hmmm.......
xoxo, 5:06 PM
i think i've overreacted in this situation.. i got carried away when im in anger. i say things that aren't suppose to say.. i felt like i think i've made a mistake. but im still sad though.. i dnt knw what's wrng with me. but im just so pissed when u say that. its not like i always wanna join u everytime u with friends. only once in a while and u refused to bring me along. i just dnt get. my heart still feels like someone is poking me inside with a pin.. it hurt. all u cn do is to ignored me..i want u to undrstnd how i feel.. not ignored.. i cnt stop crying right now.. im losing myself right.. and i think i losing someone too.. god pls make things better :(:(..
xoxo, 12:31 AM
dear diary,
im not in a good mood rite now.. im so heartbroken right now.. totally cnt take it anymore.. i hate having a bf that always think about himself.. im bored at home and i wanted to follow and watch him play soccer.. but he refused to bring me along.. he said that i shouldnt follow.. yknw how it make me feel.. so crush inside. i break into tears when i read his message that he rply me..he said that dnt follow.. i dnt understnd, he said he knew that im bored right now but no need to watch me play soccer.. how could you! im so hurt right now.. i feel like i wanna give up.!! im losing myself right now.. i knw its a small probs. but i dnt undrstnd why he like to treat me like this.. he said he's busy no time for me but soccer and friend anytime!! doenst make senses at all.i hate it so much!! he said he got sch work to do alot of sch work... thenn this!! fuck !!i just asked for break up.. i couldnt take it anymore.. thinking about this again and again!! imm sick of it! really!! i cnt take it.. i cnt take it...i give u freedom.. so just take it.. ive already think twice.. its for ur own good and mine too.... thnks for everything!! so just leave me alone!!..
xoxo, 7:58 PM
Where Does My Heart Beat Now..
So much to believe in, We were lost in time
Everything I needed I feel in your eyes, always thought of keeping your heart next to mine. But now that seems so far away don't know how love could leave without a trace, Where do silent hearts go?Where does my heart beat now,Where is the sound
That only echoes through the night where does my heart beat now i can't live without
without feeling it inside, where do all the lonely hearts go
Candle in the water .Drifting helplessly Hiding from the thunder Come and rescue me driven by hunger of the endless dream.
I'm searching for the hand that I can hold ,I'm reaching for the arms that let me know,Where do silent hearts go?Then one touch overcomes the silence, Love still survives, Two hearts needing one another give me wings to fly.
Where does my heart beat now where is the sound that only echoes through the night
Where does my heart beat now i can't live without, without feeling it inside
I've got someone to give my heart to
Feel it getting stronger and stronger
And stronger
And I feel inside
Hearts are made to last
Till the end of time
well i took this pic 2 days ago but i didnt post it straight away cuz im too tired..haha we cnt slp so we just groom ourself up and camwhoring..
this few days i kept dreaming about my bf, 3 days straight i dreamt about him.. i dntknw why but mayb it means that i miss him so badly since he were too busy in his school work, exam and he needs to concentratein his studies. so i didnt want to stress him by asking him to meet him i just let it be for now eventhough i knew that i miss him so much but its ok. education is more important.. im still glad even though i dnt get to see my bf often this few days but atleast my life filled with joy!! haha i slp over at my cousin house, we chit chat , watch movies, doing makeup haha like we used to do everytime when i went there. haha thnks cuzz!! appreaciate it..
oh ya!! did i mention i just dye my hair? haha i did and my cuzz yani did it for me.. thnks alot!! haha when i wash it the colour came out abit but i think soon enough the colour would even came out more few days later.. hope so! haha i guess thats all i cnt say for now.. hehe
back for more whenever!!
i miss you hunn!! alots.. wish u could read this and know that how much i love you and misses you..:( hmm
Tell me is it worth the pain when our pride plays the wrong game.
blinded by suspicious mind, thought you could read my heart and cross the line.
in everything you see keep everything back me.
deep that bad taste in your mouth, half your truth stay on your side
unleash all your demons free they've been hiding
all that you're refused to see take everything back me
thought my broken heart,tear my dreams apart i'll be alright and i'll be alright..
just a broken heart, not a word to fight i'll be alright.. and i always will..
love
illyana
Maybe its the things i say, maybe i should think b4 i speak,
but i thought that i knew enough, to know myself and do whats right for me.
And this walls im building now, u used to bring em down. the tears im crying out, you used to wipe away..
i thought you said it was easy, listening to your heart. i thought you said i'd be okay, so why am i breaking apart.Dont wanna be torn..
why is all this so confusing,complicated and consuming. why has all this made me angry i wanna go back to being happy!!...:(..
just need a time for myself. need to understnd..just give him the time...kk relax. i knw i cn understnd this..:(
hey hey!! back for more blogging!!
haha kk today i had so much fun because i get to meet my lovey dovey!! haha even though i met him for a few hours but its still fun though.. im so happy now.. i cnt stop smiling..hehe anyway just now, we get to watched movie at westmall just near my place. we watched percy jackson and it was great.!! like totally.. hahaha and after that we went to 7 eleven and buy a new hp cuz my fucking phone spoiled urghh!! im so pissed.. now ive a new hp that has no mp3 nor camera but only radio and blablabla.. haha but its ok, as long as i cn still received a msg im fine... hahaha hmm trmw need to fine job.. cuz my bf dah nagged2 jeee trus.. hahaha and the fact also i got no more money to spend.. hahahaha!
i think i just end here!! back for more again tmrw!! xoxoxo
*xoxo :) i love you hun!!really appreaciate it!! thnks for ur time.. hugg!!
<3 illyana
Today.. i supposed to meet my cousin. but i didnt. because i got a text from my bf that he wanted to meet me before he went to soccer ltr at 8pm but he have to study first before meeting me.. he say that he misses me. and i was exhilarated by that. im just so happy..because i cnt wait to hugg him so tightly and nvr let go.. haha so i waited and while waiting, i watched suju mistery 6, gosh it was so scary that i still can remember how the stories goes.. i was too engross watching the show on youtube till i forgot to take a shower.hahaha i knw what ure thinking about.!! so shss!! hahaha i look at the time, its already 6 o'clock and my bf still haven't text me yet.. about 6 15 i guess, he messaged me and he said that he cnt make it.. because he has no time and he still have alot to study. i was quite disappointed but its ok, because yknw why? i cn still continue wathing my suju vid. hahaha it has 6 episode in it and i just watch it all and its so scaryy plus it gives u a lil bit of goosebump.. u shld wtch it!! the stories was about donghae had this same nightmare every night and it affect his work too.. i dnt wanna tell u all the story was about. u must watch the show and you'll knw it.. its very interesting..u just have to wait and just watch till end.. haa!! niwae im started feel bored right now. because i got nothing else to do but just surfing the net and blogged this.. hahahah!! haizz life sucks!! im done with it!! chow!! mwah2!! gong xi fa cai!! if i spelled it right!! hahaha
xoxo!!
sincerely,
illyana!!
hey hey hey .. today the whole day i've been staying at home, chilling, watching tv playing comp and all tht!! haha and im getting sick and tired of all this.. haizz nvrmind just bare with it.. actually the reason for blogging is i've afew probs, just wanna let it all out here.. this few days, i felt so diff towards my bf.. its like i feel like he has lost interest with me.. but when i asked him, its like normal.. i dnt knw.. i just feel like i miss the old faizz.. the one that use to treat me so well and wont let me cried every night thinking what have just happen.. sometimes times do changed alot. when u get to knw them more and love them more, u intend to get hurt more.. and all u cn do is cry, be patient and alot more..i dntknw im just so stress when thinking of it.. i really do love faizz alot but i dnt knw if i cn be with him long enough.. i dnt knw. sometimes, i feel if im the one who stress him out thinking of me like this.. he's been busy this lately with sch and soccer with friends and alot more. should i really just bare with it. he even once told me if he also sometimes think about our relationship cn we live like this together? but the way he say it is like he wanna let me go free.. i dntknw.. it was all thought though. not sure.. ppl always say think positive blablabla.. i dnt really get it..nvr mind.. im done of crying.. i hope to cry no more. insyallah!! ya allah ya tuhan beri la hambamu kekuatan utk menjalani cobaan ini ya allah.. sesungguhnye kau la yg maha pengasih dan penyayang. amin..
im bored!! having a tummy ached rite now.. becoz of the girl prob thingy.. ahaha so pain.. haizz im here all home alone.. mummy go out my sister went to work.. and im here rotting at home.. so damn bored!! haizz i dnt knw why i've this wierd feeling like someone dnt love me anymore. haizz think too much..but its true i've the feeling of it.. hmmm.......
hanging out with my buddy!! its been a long time since i met him hahaha..it was boring at first.. cuz we dntknw what to talk about.. but after taking pic all we starts to talk alot... hahaha we went bottle park at khatib to chill.. hahaha then after that we eat at macdonalds.. then chill again.. take some video.. hahaha
it was fun. hehe more pic on fb..hehehe
tata xoxoxoxo:)
haha i knw i blog early in the morning! cuz i cnt slp.. haha me and my cuzz still awake!! it seems like my cuzz is having a lil problem that she kinda stuck with right now.. its really complicating!! haha i knw how she feels..haha been there b4! but you still gotta be strong!! no man can bring us down!! hahahah i dnt knw if it make sense!! haha anyway fyi!! im not really good in english! haha it sucks, i know!! hahaha
niwae the whole day i've been fbing,playing games,sometimes i do online on msn but i dnt chat with anyone.. hahaha stupid right, iknow!! i'd just online the whole day but my status set as appeared ofline.. hahaha
at first when i've to stay at home the whole day like this, i'll get bored easily like i cn go crzy and i always depends on my bf.. but now i dnt feel it anymore..im getting tired of my life depending on someone that sometimes get annoyed by me cuz i kept saying im bored and i need you and he cnt do anything but for soccer cnn..urgh!!nvr im so over it now.. hahaha and now i dont! i cn live like this forever!! haha but only one thing i cnt live without.. is job!! i need a job so i would still have some money in the bank.. urgh!! hahaha im too lazy to goo out and find 1.. haa nvrmind.. now i've to think about sch first! haizz sometime i get sick and tired of thinking when i cn meet my bf and so and so.. cuz yknw why? i dnt have a lot of friends that cn hangout together but even if i've one they would always say "sorry i cnt, busy2 me!!" urgh!! pissed off.. i dnt want that life.. but if i strted sch.. i dnt think i live like this anymore.. i cn meet new friends in class and cn chit chat!! do my sch work so i wont feel like my life is totally empty..so i wont be thinking of him so much. since he always do that to me when he's at sch!! now's my turn!! he always think if i cnt live witout bf .. who say! i cn, just dnt try me!! haha dnt ever test my patient.. i have my own limit of being patient always! hahaha but for now dnt worry!! i'll still love you!! . haha just dnt treat me like a fool.. i hate guys who like to tell lies.. i know sometimes i'd tell lies too but not for long! haha i would end up telling the truth..thts me!! haha
i think i've been blogging too long.. hahah soo i end here!! toodles!!
oh ya i love mr ........!!! heheh huggg!!! nite2..
our makeup session!! haha love them lots!! xoxoxo <3
rathnie's bdae celebration!! hee we wanted to surprise her.. but she doesnt even look surprise when we shout out 'happy birthday rathniE" hahah it was like she already knew what was going to happen!! darn!! haha but its ok.. as long i see her smile im happy!! haha hope she like our gift!
more pic at facebook!!
mwah2 xoxoxoox